An Exclusive Conversation with S. Tanuja Sri Sasi Kumar Author of the book If You Had Loved Me Appa
1. If you had to describe If You Had Loved Me, APPA in just three words, what would they be?
Author: Pain. Loss. Acceptance.
2. The title immediately evokes curiosity and emotion. How did you decide on it?
Author: The title If You Had Loved Me, APPA came naturally as I developed the story and its emotional journey. At its heart, the book explores the pain, loss, and emotional scars that could have been avoided if love had been expressed when it mattered most. The title captures that single, heartbreaking question that many people carry within themselves: “What if I had been loved differently?”
I specifically chose the word “APPA” instead of “father” or “dad” because Appa is more than just a word—it is an emotion, especially in Tamil. It carries warmth, memories, and a deep personal connection that no English word could fully replace. I wanted the title to feel intimate and emotionally authentic, and APPA conveyed that perfectly.
3. Do you believe story can help people heal from emotional wounds? How has it helped you personally?
Author: I know many readers will find parts of their own lives reflected in this story. But if you ask whether that was my intention from the beginning, the answer is no. My primary intention was to tell this story as honestly as I could and convey its emotional journey.
More than anything, I wanted readers to take away one message: life has to keep moving. Pain, heartbreak, and loss are all part of life, but they should never become the end of our story. No matter what we go through, we still have a life to live, and we must find the strength to move forward.
If readers who have experienced similar pain see themselves in the story, I hope they also see hope in it. I want them to close the book believing that while pain may stay with us, it doesn’t have to stop us from living. That is the message I truly wanted to share.
4. Several readers may find their own stories reflected in your novel. Was creating that emotional connection your intention from the beginning?
Author: I know many readers will find parts of their own lives reflected in this story. But if you ask whether that was my intention from the beginning, the answer is no. My primary intention was to tell this story as honestly as I could and convey its emotional journey.
More than anything, I wanted readers to take away one message: life has to keep moving. Pain, heartbreak, and loss are all part of life, but they should never become the end of our story. No matter what we go through, we still have a life to live, and we must find the strength to move forward.
If readers who have experienced similar pain see themselves in the story, I hope they also see hope in it. I want them to close the book believing that while pain may stay with us, it doesn’t have to stop us from living. That is the message I truly wanted to share.
5. How do you usually begin writing a novel—with an emotion, an image, a memory, or simply a single line?
Author: My writing is always driven by emotions rather than just imagination. Most of my stories begin with a feeling—something I’ve experienced, observed, or deeply connected with emotionally. Those emotions become the foundation of my writing.
Sometimes, a small scene or a single moment suddenly appears in my mind. The moment it does, I immediately write it down as a draft so I don’t lose it. From there, I let my creativity take over. I expand that one idea, develop the characters, add layers to the story, and gradually build an entire narrative around it.
In simple words, my mind gives me the seed of a story, and I enjoy developing it into something meaningful that readers can emotionally connect with.
6. Was there a particular thing in this collection that surprised even you while writing it?
Author: The thing that surprised me the most while writing this book was how my own creativity guided the story in an unexpected direction. Initially, I had planned a particular narrative and a specific path for the storyline, but as I started writing, my imagination expanded and took me towards a completely different and more beautiful direction.
It felt like I had planned to walk on a muddy path, but suddenly my creativity showed me a smooth and scenic path that made the journey much easier and more enjoyable. The characters, their emotions, and the flow of the story started developing naturally. I got new ideas while writing, and those ideas helped me reshape the storyline in a way that made the book even more meaningful and beautiful.
That unexpected creative journey was something that truly surprised me and made the process of writing this book even more special.
7. How has your perspective on love, family, and forgiveness changed since completing this book?
Author: After completing this book, my perspective on love, family, and forgiveness changed in a very meaningful way.
When it comes to love, I realised that thinking “love is not meant for me” is not always true. Even if we feel that nobody can love us, we always have the ability to love ourselves, and that self-love is also a beautiful form of love. Through this journey of writing, I discovered the importance of accepting and valuing ourselves.
Regarding family, I started understanding different perspectives. I realised that many relationships face misunderstandings and carry a lot of unspoken emotions. Not everyone finds it easy to openly express their feelings to their family, but I understood that open communication can truly save and strengthen relationships. Whether it is a family bond or any other relationship, expressing our emotions and understanding each other is very important.
When it comes to forgiveness, I learned that forgiveness is not always about forgetting what happened or ignoring the pain. It is about finding peace within ourselves, understanding different perspectives, and letting go of the emotional burden that we carry.
Overall, this book helped me look at relationships with more empathy and taught me the importance of love, communication, and emotional healing.
8. What advice would you give to aspiring writer who want to write honestly but fear being vulnerable?
Author: To all aspiring writers who are scared of being vulnerable, I would say — we have only one life, so why should we be afraid of expressing our true thoughts and emotions?
Writing honestly and sharing something from your heart is one of the most powerful things a writer can do. Honesty is a rare quality, and when a writer creates something with genuine emotions, it creates a deeper connection with readers.
Of course, being vulnerable can feel scary because we always think about how others might judge us. But as writers, we should remember that our truth, our emotions, and our experiences are what make our stories unique.
So, don’t hold yourself back because of fear. Write honestly, write from your heart, and never be afraid of being yourself. The most beautiful stories are often born from the courage to be vulnerable.
9. If one message from this collection could reach every reader, which one would you choose and why?
Author: If there is one message I want every reader to take from my book, it is this — never believe that you are not worthy of love, happiness, or the beautiful things life has to offer.
Sometimes, because of our past experiences or the love we didn’t receive, we start believing that we don’t deserve anything. But that thought is not true. Every single person deserves love, care, and happiness. We all deserve the world, regardless of what we have experienced before.
In my book, I have written about a moment where the character struggles to accept a love that they have never experienced before. There is fear and hesitation because accepting something beautiful after being deprived of it for so long can feel unfamiliar. But I want readers to understand that when life gives you a chance to receive the love you always wished for, don’t let fear stop you.
Sometimes, the love we think we don’t deserve is the love that helps us heal. So, choose it, embrace it, and remember that you are always worthy of being loved.
10. Finally, what message would you like to share with readers who are about to begin If You Had Loved Me, APPA for the very first time?
Author: Final Message to Readers who are about to read this book:
The message I would like to share with everyone who are about to read my book is — stay strong before you begin this journey.
There may be parts of this book that might break your heart, make you feel the pain of the characters, or even remind you of your own experiences. You might relate to the emotions, and you might even shed tears while reading it. To be honest, I have cried many times while writing this book because every emotion in this story came from a very personal and genuine place.
But I want my readers to know that this book is not just about pain. It is also about healing, hope, and finding yourself again. My intention is not to leave you with sadness, but to give you a sense of relief, strength, and confidence by the end of the journey.
This book carries a beautiful message — no matter what happens in life, we have to keep moving forward. At the end of the day, we have ourselves, and we should learn to stand by ourselves.
Through self-love, self-identity, and the process of healing, we can discover a new version of ourselves. I hope every reader who connects with this story finds a little piece of themselves within these pages and walks away feeling stronger, healed, and ready to embrace life.
Book By Tanuja Sri: If You Had Loved Me Appa
Publisher: Evincepub Publishing
